In His World

"Mom, is it raining?"  I sat there amazed and unable to answer the question for a moment.  Raining?  The sun was brilliant.  The skies more blue than I had seen in weeks.  No clouds.  I had my sunroof open, the windows down, and the warm wind was blowing through the van.  Raining?  Why would he think it was raining???  "No, Joseph, why?"  "Because there is water on the window."

Sure enough, I had rolled the passenger side window down and then rolled it up a little.  The morning condensation had gotten the window a little streaky with water.  To him, there was water on the window so it must be raining.  Forget all the other obvious signs that it was NOT raining.  This is Joseph's world.  This is the world of autism.

I met my husband later in a parking lot where he works.  He waved to Joseph.  We talked for 15 minutes as I sat in my car and he sat in his.  Joseph played on the floor in the back of my van.  Did he know we were stopped and that I was talking to someone?  Didn't he wave to his dad?  However, when I went to leave I said, "Dad is waving goodbye to you!" and he jumps up looking and asks, "Dad is here?!?!?!"  This is Joseph's world.

I have to remind myself everyday that we live in a world of literal interpretations.  Everything is black and white.  If he asks a question I must say "yes" or "no" and not "maybe" or "we'll see".  Saying something with sarcasm is risky.  He has gotten better with it as he studies your face waiting for a smile or hint of the sarcasm.  But I remember telling him once I was about to pull my hair out.  The fear and anxiety that crossed his face told me that he had a vision of me doing just that!  My favorite part in the Temple Grandin movie is when the aunt says "We get up with the roosters around here".  Temple's autistic mind sees in pictures and that is exactly what she saw!!!

This is one of the reasons why our family does not do any of the fictional holiday characters such as Santa Claus, tooth fairy, etc.  And I guess it was not a good idea to tell him yesterday that we were on the Interstate behind a Transformer (18 wheeler).  He started calling it by a name, Optimus Prime and then asked me how the transformers got into stores.  That confused me!  Then he said "well, it was out on the road but then you can go to the store and buy it. How does it do that?"  ***sigh***  I should know by now.....black and white.....yes or no.....big truck....NOT TRANSFORMER!!!!!!