Miracles DO Happen

I am often lost in the everyday expectations of my vocation without realizing that I have become indifferent to the crosses I have been asked to carry.  I wake each morning knowing what is expected and what to expect.  And then, out of no where, God jars me with something different.  It is Lent.  I fully expected this past weekend would be hard and maybe even harder than the weekends before.  But He gave me a gift instead.

Things had gotten so hard over the past few weekends when Joseph was home that we had decided I would find a place to stay with him.  Perhaps someone had a basement room I could use or a camper?  I am still looking if anyone has any ideas.  But this past weekend things were different.  When I picked him up Friday at school I could tell right away that he was at peace.  He was smiling.  He was happy.  He told me wonderful stories full of faith and hope.  He shared with me that he had given up Transformers for Lent so he would not be talking about it over the weekend.  He went happily and without a fight to his therapist.  There were a few issues.  He had problems sleeping all weekend and I was up with him all night Saturday.  But we had such a beautiful wonderful weekend.  He was my old Joseph.  The Joseph we knew before his brain injury.

I see my little Jo-Jo sometimes but it is a fleeting moment.  And then his anger returns.  I hope and pray that this is a real miracle.  He is going to daily mass and loves saying his prayers and singing to Jesus.  He is around such kind and pious Sisters.  He is blossoming.  I took him to get an ice cream before bringing him back to school Sunday night.  He told me how much he loved me and that he was so happy this weekend.  He said he was worried about going back to school because he was going to miss me so much.  He said he had a good idea....how 'bout we take a picture every time we do something special together so we could remember it forever.  So...I did!

Last week he had a day off school and I took him up to his old school to visit his friends.  They were so sweet to him.  They asked him so many questions.  He told them about being in the special Olympics.  Here he is telling them all about being on the basketball team!

Showing them how he dribbles the ball!

Joseph is on a prayer list for the canonization of Frank Duff, the founder of The Legion of Mary.  This may not be enough to be declared a miracle for a canonization but if he stays on this path it will be a huge miracle to my family.  Please consider saying this prayer with our family. 

God our Father, You inspired your servant Frank Duff with a profound insight into the mystery of your Church, the Body of Christ, and of the place of Mary the Mother of Jesus in this mystery. In his immense desire to share this insight with others and in filial dependence on Mary he formed her Legion to be a sign of her maternal love for the world and a means of enlisting all her children in the Church's evangelizing work. We thank you, Father, for the graces conferred on him and for the benefits accruing to the Church from his courageous and shining faith. With confidence we beg you that through his intercession you grant the petition we lay before you ..... We ask too that if it be in accordance with your will, the holiness of his life may be acknowledged by the Church for the glory of Your Name, through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

Moments Like This

Sleeping peacefully on the couch as if in prayer.

Moments like we had this past weekend are God's little reminders to me of how blessed I am to have this incredible child in my life.  In His mercy, God opens these windows of time where, for a moment, I am able to look into Joseph's heart and soul and really see him.  I see the little boy that is happy and yet profoundly sad.  The little boy who is at peace and yet terribly afraid.  The little boy who is full of joy and yet so angry.  For a moment he looks me in the eye and we really connect....and then it's gone.  I honestly do not recall the last time I enjoyed a whole weekend with Joseph and the rest of my family.  Joseph did not give me one moment but several of them where his camouflage was gone and I really saw an innocent sweet angel.  We laughed and we played.  He was so at peace.  He would go to his bed on his own and fall asleep.  He was concerned about the rest of us.  He reminded everyone of rules.  He taught us how things were done at Villa Marie and voiced his opinion that it would be better if it was done that way at home.  His infectious smile was back!  The dark circles under his eyes were gone.  I can only think that his new medication and his time at Villa Marie are to credit for this amazing transformation.  I knew that daily mass, the sisters, and sleeping just steps from Our Lord would make some difference in his life.  Will it last?  You know, I am past asking that question.  I just soak in every single moment like this and treasure it.  It gives me the energy and strength I need to face the next battle.  He called me last night.  He was missing me.  He said he loves me.  I heard it and felt he meant it.  I dreamed about him all night.  I can't wait to see him again.  No one but the mother of a child like Joseph can understand how bittersweet that is to say. 

His reaction to my question, "What do you think about all this snow?!?!"

Family fun at the lake!  That's Joseph flying down the hill!

School, Snow and Seroquel

Fundraiser dance for Villa Marie

Joseph's second week of school went much better than the first.  He stayed all week!  I didn't even get a phone call from him.  We met him that Friday night at the dance hall where the school was having a fundraiser.  He was dancing with his fellow students having a great time.  All he did was wave to us!  He was so happy and did not want to leave. 

The weekend, however, was horrific!  He really needed to be brought to the hospital several times but we held off hoping things would settle down.  He did not have school Monday which meant a long and hard 3 day weekend.  We decided that if the new medication (actually an old one we have gone back to taking) did not kick in and things didn't get better I would find a place to stay on the weekends and keep him away from everyone.  Those plans are still there on the back burner.

The new/old medication, Seroquel, is working.  He is not hallucinating any longer.  Which means that he is mentally ill.  The medication is for treating schizophrenia.  He has not been diagnosed with this but instead bi-polar, however, it is very common for children to have their diagnoses change as they age.  The bottom line is that the medication is working.

The third week of school went great!  I picked him up this past Friday and again, he was not happy about coming home.  We have worked hard all week trying to make changes that he would not notice but would make a difference.  We locked up all his Transformer toys and decided he would get one back per hour that he was well behaved pending his request for them.  So far, he has not asked.  We locked up all electronics.  We have gentle quiet music playing.  The lights are very low, if on at all.  And we are not reacting to his behaviors.  So far, so good.  And THIS IS A MIRACLE as we are snowed in for the weekend!!!!

Joseph, far right in red

He has been out but doesn't like it much.  He comes in and sits downstairs singing at the top of his lungs the church music he has learned at school.  "Never too young to preach the gospel, never too young to bring Good News....".  I think him being at school during the week has given our whole family a chance to heal during the week and to be strong enough to deal with him on the weekend.  God has given us a new understanding and love for him.  The opportunity to practice patience and true charity are always present.

Blessed are you who take the time to listen to difficult speech,
If I persevere, I can be understood.

Blessed are you who never bid me to "hurry up"
Or take my tasks from me and do them for me.
For I often need time, rather than help.

Blessed are you who stand beside me as I enter new and untried ventures, Myself and You.

Blessed are you who ask for my help.
For my greatest need is to be needed.

Blessed are you who, with a smile encourage me to try once more.

Blessed are you who never remind me
That today I ask the same question twice.

Blessed are you who respect me and love me just as I am.

Author Unknown