A Window

This is a big picture window in my living room.  Lately it has become a great source of frustration for Joseph.  He is always wanting me to close the curtains.  The chest keeps the drapes from closing completely and he seeks ways to gather it so there is no light coming in. 

I love my view from this window.  In the summer, as now, it is full of green rolling hills.  The view reminds me of Ireland.  There are no houses in this view as we are out in the country on acreage.  The road is a gravel road with little traffic.  You can see hundreds of birds and rabbits, some pheasants, ducks, turkeys, and the occasional deer.

In the fall the leaves falling and the wind blowing are fascinating to watch.  In the winter the snow falling is mystical and can put most minds in a meditative trance.  And in the spring it is amazing to watch nature come back to life and the massive storms that blow across the prairie.

We use to joke about Joseph "staring" out the window or getting aggressive in the living room.  He would be standing on his head, upside down in a chair, rocking on the couch, in a chair or on the floor.  Or he would go to the other extreme and be staring in a trance unable to focus on anything going on.  I commented once that you were not going to get his attention because the wind was blowing and he saw a leaf blowing.  Now I know that this window over stimulates him.  This is why he has been trying to close it.  So, everyday now when he comes home from school I close the drapes.  When he is sitting in the living room falling asleep and asks me to close the gap, I do. 

Lights, windows, wind, sound......will I ever have him figured out completely?  Will I ever know how much he has suffered?  Autism truly is a puzzle.  I'm just getting the pieces lined up trying to figure out if I have the right ones or not.  It should be an interesting year.  I look forward to it.  I feel like I am understanding him for the first time in his life.