July 9th, 2008

I lost what little bit of that slow but sweet little boy I had in a matter of 2 seconds.  Because of the lack of oxygen at birth Joseph had suffered some brain damage that would make learning, especially in the area of communication and reading, very difficult.  He was also very immature as far as his age and decision making.  But I could live with this.  He was just a big sweet boy that would need mom and dad a little longer than the others.

After the first fall off the bleachers I did not notice any changes until years later and looking back.  After that fall was when he started drooling a lot and became very clumsy.  He was always falling and hitting his head or getting a black eye.  And these injuries, after looking back at pictures, is most always on the left side.  It was years later that we would learn the brain damage is in the right lobe causing him a lot of physical issues on his left side.

On July 9th I left to go 2 miles down the road to a mission mass at the convent.  It was a mission for Our Lady of Mount Carmel and I wanted to hear a newly ordained priest give the sermon.  Something told me to not go.....I even stopped the car in the road, looked back, and then put my trust in God.  In the middle of the mass someone came to me and said my husband needed to see me outside and it was an emergency.  He had Joseph with him.  Joseph was acting strangely.  Trying to cry for me but sort of unable to get it out.  He was shaking and scared.  David tells me that Joseph has fallen out of a tree directly onto his head.  He said it knocked him out and then he was unable to move.  He was not sure if he should drive him into the city or just get our doctor, who was at the convent with me, to look him over.  I went and got our doctor and friend and he said that Joseph had a concussion.  He said to take him home and keep him still.  He said this is what they would tell us at the ER so we followed his advice.

I only stress this with the doctor's advice for my own benefit.  It reaffirms that we are not bad parents.  And the doctor, who is a dear friend of ours, is not a bad doctor.  We really thought it was a small concussion.  All Joseph needed was some bedrest.  He would be fine in a few days.  I don't think going to the ER would have made much difference but I would have it documented.  I would not second guess myself.  I would have had answers sooner.....perhaps.  But who knows?  Again, I don't believe in accidents.  All things happen by the will of God! 

The story from the children that saw the fall would replay in my head over and over as I tried to forgive myself for not being here.  Joseph, who never had developed a good sense of judgment, climbed up a tree and out onto a branch to get an airplane that had gotten stuck in the tree.  He was about 20 feet high and crawling out on the branch upside down hugging it with his arms and legs.  The branch broken, he let go, and he fell directly on his head.  He was knocked out for a minute or so.  And then he was temporarily paralyzed.  I would learn later that these are signs in determining how significant the injury is.  After several minutes he was able to walk a little and that is when David brought him to the convent.  There was no vomiting.  Wasn't I taught that was the dangerous thing to look for?  Don't let them sleep and if they start vomiting get them to the hospital!?!?!  But he wanted to sleep so badly.  I could not keep him awake.  I called the doctor and he said that was fine.  He needed to sleep so let him sleep.  Just watch for vomiting and headache that won't go away.

No vomiting.  He never complained of a horrible headache.  I gave him Tylenol and let him sleep.  We have only just discovered that Joseph does not feel extreme pain.  He could have had a horrific migraine and never told us.  And if he didn't feel the pain then he would not vomit.  So for two days he slept off and on.  I gave him Benedryl when he wanted to try to move around too much because I was told to keep him down.  The last thing he needed was another head injury. 

July 10th, the day after

A week later we noticed he was drooling a lot.  Then he started acting so violent.  Where was this coming from?  Then he started saying things he had never said before.  He was having horrible meltdowns.  He started behaving in ways we had never seen.  He started talking about  inappropriate things.  There was strange behavior...things we could not explain.  They looked bizarre.  He would not like a food one day and demand it the next.  He would forget people or places.  He would be scared of wood.  Or he would touch things that were hot or poky.  We later learned these were sensory issues.  And then he started the rocking.  If he sat, he rocked.  He rocked back and forth with a lot of force and energy in the van, on the couch, in the church pew, on the floor, etc. 

When I started homeschooling classes again in the fall it was obvious something was very wrong.  Everything he had learned the year before was gone.  He was already grossly delayed.  He did not need this!!!  I could not take anymore.  I cried.  I was frustrated.  I was confused.  I started making phone calls.  That landed us at the Barkley Center for testing.  And this was the first time I heard "TBI...traumatic brain injury".  I thought that was a little far fetched.  He had no brain injury.  Kids in car wrecks get that.  He didn't even get a cut on his head.  He was always slow.  Maybe his anger was just that he was getting older.  Maybe he had some autism after all.  But brain injury???  From the fall that was now more than 6 month old?  I found this hard to believe.  We had an MRI done.  It was normal.  See?  No brain injury.....right?  Maybe he was just ADHD.  So we took him to a doctor for that.  He said TBI and, it just so happens, that ADHD is usually a symptom in children with TBIs.  Meds were given to help him sleep since he never slept.  Yep, another symptom of TBI.  He had ground his teeth down to the point some of them were breaking.  Yep, another symptom.  And the drooling was another symptom.  Ok, but........he has done that since he was little.  Oh....you mean since the FIRST head injury?  Wait a minute!!!!  Telling me my child has one brain injury is bad enough but two!?!?! 

After months of going from doctor to doctor we ended up getting sent to Madonna Hospital for evaluations.  It was confirmed.  My little boy had brian damage.  I will break his problems down later but I must run now.  I have a meeting for his disability this morning.  Prayers would be appreciated since most people get turned down their first time through.  And then I've promised them a swim at the Y when I get home as they are all out of school today.  He starts swim lessons the beginning of April so I want him use to being in the pool.